Girls Bullying

We need to make sure that our girls understand the problem of bullying and who are bullies and what casues bullying. While we typically think of bullying as a “boy” crisis some of the most destructive bullying goes on between girls. It peaks with bullying iin middle school. Bullying by girls is on the increase and may approach the frequency of boy bullying. Many experts feel that the bullying done by girls can be more destructive and life changing then that done by boys. Girls who are bullies and what are the causes of bullying.

Who are bullies? The typical girl who bullies is popular, well-liked by adults, does well in school, and can even be friends with the girls she bullies. Bulying in middle schoool is where it is at its worse. She doesn't get into fist fights, although some girls who bully do. Instead, she will use rumor spreading, gossip, secret-divulging, alliance-building, backstabbing, ignoring, excluding from social groups and activities, verbally insulting, and using hostile body language (i.e., eye-rolling and smirking), teasing other girls about their hair, weight, intelligence, and athletic ability. The are many causes of bullying. Other behaviors include making fun of someone's clothes or appearance and bumping into someone on purpose. We cannot accept that it is just “Girls being Girls”. Many of these behaviors are quite common in girls' friendships, but when they occur repeatedly to one particular victim, they constitute bullying. The causes of bullying vary.Girls usually bully in a group and others join in or are pressured to bully the victim.

When girls bully they typically cause much more destructive and longer term damage. Girls who are bulllies. It can cause a drop in grades, low self esteem, anxiety, depression, drug use, and poor eating habits in girls who are bullied. This kind of bullying is harder to see. Most of the time adults don't realize when girls are being bullied in this way.

Bullying by girls who are bullies tends to be most intense and apparent among girls in fifth through eighth grade, bullying in middle school. Right when many girls are going through and important self image and identity forming phase of their lives. This type of behavior often continues, although perhaps to a somewhat lesser degree, in high school. It ususally peaks with bullying in middle school. Although most common during the school day, bullying can occur in other settings such as the neighborhood or community activities.

Here are some other general tips that are useful in preventing girl who are bullies and bullying in middle school. The causes of bullying:

Teach girls to be both nonviolent and not a victim.
Teach and model healthy assertiveness. Self-confident and able to say “NO” to girls that are bullies.
Don't underestimate the pain felt by bullied children.
Remember that adults at school may not respond to bullying or may not know how to respond. Understand the causes of bullying.
Ask your adult friends to be involved with your child. Especially with bullying in middle school.
Get a professional caregiver involved in your child's life early on (pediatrician or teacher, for example). Help them understand the causes of bullying.
Get to know the parents of your daughter's friends; create a network. Know who are bullies and who are friends.
Don't excuse your child's bad behavior, but don't overreact either. Girls who are bullies deny it. It is generally best to respond with disciplinary strategies (rather than punishment) that help your daughter develop the skills and capacity to be a healthy adult. Teaching is far more effective and beneficial than punishing without creating the opportunity for real change, especially for bullying in middle school.
Celebrate your child's accomplishments. Acknowledgement and praise is the best way to promote healthy pro-social behaviors.

Learn more about girl bullying and different ways hurt each other. Find out how to stop the bullying, including the common mistakes most parents make when handling a bullying situation.

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